


dry my eyes so you won't know dry my eyes so i won't show

by orphan_account



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: :(, Angst, M/M, set in the locker scene, so angsty I'm sorry, when even told isak he and sonja are taking a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:14:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9287996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "We need to talk Isak" It sounded almost painful, the butterflies in his stomach now replaced with raging moths and a ball of anxiety that made him feel sick but he nodded anyway.Or in this universeEven doesn't choose Isak.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the most iconic Evak song.

He knew something was wrong, his heart began to clench and his knees felt like his muscles were replaced with jelly. Even looked pale which made his eyes stand out and he looked so beautiful so effortlessly stunning Isaks stomach twisted with rogue butterflies. 

"We need to talk isak" It sounded almost painful, the butterflies in his stomach now replaced with raging moths and a ball of anxiety that made him feel sick but he nodded anyway. 

He was hyper aware of he fact that anyone could walk in and that he's probably going to get detention for leaving half way through gym but he couldn't care less. Even did this to him, made him reckless but also so nervous that he felt like he needed to lie down before he completely collapses. 

"About- about this" Even swallowed hard he looked so nervous and scared like a child who just got caught with one hand in the cookie jar. Isak ignored his ever growing knot of anxiety and just nodded trying not to show Even his shaking hands and fast pounding heartbeat. 

"About us?" He asked quietly not liking the way Even flinched like he had just slapped him, something was so wrong. 

Even finally replied "About the other night" 

The other night being when they kissed. When Even kissed him until he felt breathless and complete, kissed him until he could only remember Evens name and Evens smell and the way Even rubbed his thumbs against his hipbones, the way Even would nip at his bottom lip calling him pretty and telling him "I've wanted you for so long" as they lay down so close to each other. The way Even let him cuddle up to his chest running his hands through Isaks hair occasionally kissing the whole night and some part of the next day. 

"Is something wrong?" he hated how small he sounded, like a scared kid. It almost felt bittersweet as Even ran his fingers down his cheekbones, Isak pushed his face into the touch savouring the way Evens fingers felt on his skin. Even let himself smile, it made Isak weak at the knees, he just wanted to fall into him and give his entire being to him. 

"You're perfect you know?" Even spoke in an almost hushed whisper he now had two hands on Isaks cheeks his thumbs rubbing so softly like he was fragile china ready to break at any moment, like he was scared he'd be the cause of the breakage. 

"you're amazing isak, you're beautiful, so beautiful" he would almost smile and blush all the way to his ears but he sounded like he was about to cry. Even closed his eyes tight breathing deeply before opening them looking Isak in the eyes it felt like he was inspecting his soul, he looked so sad Isak wanted to take it away and make him feel happiness again. 

"I can't do this- I can't do this with you" 

He swallowed hard shaking his head looking down at his shoes "we need to stop, whatever this is, it needs to stop"

If he could describe how he felt he'd say lost. He stuttered out a few words pulling away from Evens hold, the knot in his stomach had never been as right. 

"but you said-" he hated how fragile he sounded how Even looked at him with pity, he didn't want to come across as weak not when Even obviously couldn't care about him. He couldn't even finish his sentence he felt sick. He had given this boy so much and now he's saying he doesn't want this, want him? 

"Sonja- she's been my girlfriend for years Isak, I don't want to leave her for this" 

He spoke like Isak was nothing, like he was talking about something other than a human who's heart he was currently breaking. Even almost looked desperate now trying to grab at Isak maybe to hug him or cup his cheek like he always does to calm him down but Isak doesn't care he let's himself fall against a locker ignoring the pain in his side and the tears in his eyes and the hurt building up in his heart. 

"You don't or you can't?" He asked although he was breaking his voice was sharp and shaky his nails pinching the skin of his thigh to stop himself from sobbing. 

"Isak please-" Even tried again to move towards him but stopped when Isak held out a hand. Evens eyes looked glassy and he was trying to make eye contact but Isak wouldn't have it. He knew one look and he'd be done for, falling to his knees and breaking down in rivers of tears completely embarrassing himself in front of the boy who he'd give his life for but the boy didn't care about him. 

"leave Even" he tried to sound harsh but he knew he failed when his voice cracked and Evens face dropped and he moved into Isaks personal space his hands shaky as he cupped his jaw 

"let me explain, let me explain baby" 

Even really had some nerve, Isak scoffed shoving his hands off his face letting his tears fall he didn't care about looking weak he was hurt and Even really didn't even care. 

"Don't you dare" he murmured, hastily wiping his tears ignoring the ones falling from Evens own glassy eyes, why is he crying when he's the one breaking Isak into a million broke pieces? 

"You said you were finishing things with her" because he did, he whispered it into Isaks ear as they were slowly falling asleep, his lips pressed to Isaks ear there's no way he imagined it. Even looked in two minds he was even paler than he was when they first got here his lips shaking and his eyelashes stuck with tears and god, even now he's still the most beautiful thing Isak has ever seen. 

"I love her, I can't throw that away" he spoke like he was speaking to a kid like he was carefully picking his words out trying to find which ones would hurt Isak more. Crocodile tears Isak thought as they poured down Evens cheeks wetting his neck and collar of his shirt. 

"But you can use me for two nights, tell me bullshit to keep me happy and then run back to your girlfriend and I'm forgotten?" Hurt filled his chest when Even looked up his eyes red and he looked like he was three seconds away from breaking down himself.

"Everyone makes mistakes" 

A mistake. He was a mistake. 

He never felt hurt like it he couldn't even bring himself to answer he just stuttered his heart crashing and that knot in his stomach clenching and making him feel sick. While Even meant so much to him in the little time they spent together he was nothing more than a little fun, an ugly mistake that Even wanted to erase. He closed his eyes holding in sobs turning to grab his jacket and bag hanging beside his locker. 

Even moved fast gripping his arms and trying to pull him to his chest "isak please listen to me" he kept repeating but Isak didn't want to hear it. 

"stop it!" He finally shouted pushing Even away "leave me alone Even" he could only whisper moving out the locker room not daring to look back at Even collapsed on the floor beside the benches crying into his knees.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me how it was and maybe if you want a part two in Evens pov?


End file.
